By Morgan Buerke, Editor
Most students have been there before: the pressure on their back telling them that if they don’t do this one, harmless thing, then they’ll be shunned forever. But can they really say no?
According to social worker Jean Ryan-Meyers, teens of trouble saying no to their peers due to the long and tedious struggle for them to feel accepted. She said that its hard to speak up and ask for help and that it’s only easy to say no to their friend when they receive a positive outcome. Here are some tips:
Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Up
Junior Justin Campbell had to speak up for himself when a friend he used to hang out with pulled out a cigarette and asked him if he wanted one. When he said no, the friend began calling him a “baby” and swearing at him. Campbell said “no” anyway because he said he knows how unhealthy smoking is.
When faced with a difficult situation like this, therapist Kris Munson recommends being confident, making eye contact, and using “I statements.” She said that the only way to stop feeling bad about not getting heard is to make the effort and practice.
Be Aggressive
According to a study done by the University of Iowa on being assertive by Vivian Barnette, this includes having assertive body language, using facts instead of judgments and being clear with exactly what the other person needs to change or do. Being assertive isn’t being aggressive, but it’s not the same as just sitting there and doing nothing,either. Being aggressive should get everyone else to listen and helps express the entire groups emotions.
Someone who is normally easy-going may surprise their friends by being aggressive so suddenly so make sure that everyone knows that they’re friends will at least try to be supportive.
Leave If You Are Uncomfortable
According to psychology teacher Mark Meyer, all teens have to go through speaking out against peers. His word of advice is that, when it comes time, they should follow their conscience and their gut to lead them through the pressure. Know what the situation is and try to handle it the right way.
Campbell said “no” to smoking because he was unconfortable with doing something that unhealthy. Then, he walked away while being called names and stop being friends with that person.
