FOMO, or the fear of missing out, is something that everyone has felt at some point. Whether your friends made plans without you or you overheard a conversation but were denied the details, it is a feeling all humans are familiar with. FOMO can guide your emotions, how you act in relationships and how you perceive yourself. Dealing with this fear is complicated, but it is crucial to living a happier life.
According to HelpGuide.org, an independent nonprofit that runs one of the world’s leading mental health websites, “Fear of missing out (FOMO) involves anxiety and unease about how others might be having more rewarding experiences than you.” This phobia can take form in many different ways, often rooted in the fear of rejection and judgement.
HelpGuide illustrates how the current world has more connections than ever, with widely available social networks and access to information. This facilitates people’s tendency to compare their lives to others, providing viewers with a front row seat to all the things they are missing. FOMO can have detrimental effects on your mental health: depression, anxiety, excessive internet usage and more. So it is important to ensure you deal with FOMO in a healthy manner.
Junior Olivia Ramos is no stranger to FOMO. As a seventh-day Adventist, she often finds herself missing out on school events. Seventh-day Adventist refers to the Christian denomination that is known for honoring the Lord on the seventh day of the week, which is Saturday in the Christian calendar. This means they avoid all secular activities on Friday and Saturday. For Ramos, this means no football games, dances and many other school activities.
“I usually try to make it seem like it is okay because I don’t want to make people feel bad for me or seem like it is embarrassing for me [to be excluded],” Ramos said. “But I eventually get over it because I realize it’s okay.”
When feeling as though you are missing out, it can be easy to have a negative reaction. Many people will resort to pretending to be unbothered out of the fear of embarrassment. This is not an effective coping method, and it can even be worse to pretend.
Instead, it is important that you realize that it is okay to not be included in everything. Focusing on the positive aspects and reminding yourself that it may be for the better is essential to avoiding negative feelings when missing an event. Ramos illustrated how she relies on her support systems when dealing with FOMO, specifically her mother. Ramos believes that the easiest way to overcome any fear is to acknowledge and accept that nobody can make it to everything.
“[I have learned to] enjoy people having a better experience because seeing the goodness and the way others enjoy themselves brings me happiness,” Ramos said.
Although some students might have a thorough understanding of dealing with FOMO, it can also be beneficial to turn to the experts. Psychologists can allow for a better understanding of the causes and offer strategies to healthily address these fears.
“Focus on what brings you joy and where your friendships are most meaningful because what you are getting is quality over quantity,” school psychologist Lauren Pivovar said.
FOMO often manifests itself in teenagers due to the effects of perceived social statuses. Pivovar explained how FOMO plays a role in people’s self-esteem and increases insecurity and stress.
She also said that schools can foster an inclusive environment to help students avoid FOMO by keeping an active bulletin board, allowing students time to prepare for and schedule big events.
The key to coping with the fear of missing out is to focus on your own enjoyment. Instead of torturing yourself mentally, ask yourself if you truly enjoy these things and instead try to find your own purpose. The truth is that you do not need to be everywhere and see everything.
Social media can significantly worsen the impact of FOMO. Perhaps you have once viewed a friend’s story on Snapchat and immediately felt as though you were missing out. However, people often share only the best moments online, so what you are seeing is likely a curated version of the truth. It is important to distinguish between social media and reality in order to minimize the effects of FOMO.
It is perfectly natural to feel left out, but don’t let it consume you. Instead, let it be your motivation and a sign to focus on what truly makes you happy. When faced with FOMO, lean into your support systems and surround yourself with the people and activities that you enjoy.
“Do what you are passionate about and what brings you joy, because that is what is worthwhile,” Pivovar said.
