I don’t know about you, but one of my favorite movies is How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. It’s a romantic comedy where our main character, Andy, is tasked with writing a magazine article about what not to do to lose a guy in a relationship. The movie gets a little wild, but it ultimately ends up being a funny and heartwarming story.
However, I feel like there is another perspective that is also important to recognize. And that is simply this: how to lose a girl in ten days. Granted, I’m not going to go into exactly how one loses a girl in exactly ten days. Instead, I’ll talk about the things that can make you lose a girl.
One of the first things that can set a girl off is if you tend to talk about your ex or other girls you find attractive. One time, I had been talking to this guy and he told me about a girl he had been too afraid to walk up to in an airport. He knew very well that I was interested in him but decided to talk about how embarrassed he was about “fumbling” another girl.
Gentlemen, trust me. We don’t want to hear about how you lost out on this super attractive girl at a restaurant or how you’re still “broken” over your ex. This is when you have to take a moment for self-reflection and understand that you are still mourning the loss of your past relationship if you still talk about your ex often.
When you continue to feel these emotions about your ex, you could end up leading on the girl you are currently talking to. When you call her a “cutie” or say that she is “pretty”, that will most likely stick with her throughout the rest of her day. I know that when I got called those words, I was in full swoon. My friends saw me blushing and knew exactly who I was talking to and just how hard I had fallen. Sadly, I experienced what many girls experience: someone who wasn’t finished mourning the loss of their past relationship.
This, gentlemen, is what it feels like to be led on.
When you get led on, it feels like you’re a dog on a treadmill. There is a treat dangling in front of you on a stick and you keep trying to reach it because you think you’ll eventually get it. You run so hard to the point where you are out of breath and feel like you’re going to pass out, but you keep running. You want the treat so badly that you think the run will be worth it in the end. As the treadmill starts to slow down and you finally are able to reach the treat, there is a splash of sobering water as you realize that the person who supplied it had no intention of ever giving it to you. They just wanted to watch you run. So, you walk away dejected, humiliated and heartbroken.
So, if you intend on making a girl run for your affection and validation, you’re ultimately going to end up losing her.
Another way you can lose a girl is by being overly clingy right out of the gate. I remember when I had told a guy I liked him, he would want to Facetime nonstop. Personally, I’m someone who prefers texting, so I was taken aback. It got worse when I got a new phone and he asked me why my Facetime wasn’t working. It was because I had yet to set it up, but he was very insistent that I get it set up so he could speak with me.
This is a behavior that can make some feel uncomfortable, especially when you had only confessed your feelings for each other just recently. It also didn’t help that this guy introduced me to his entire extended family on the second day of us knowing our feelings for each other.
When you are interested in a girl, it is completely okay to take things slow. You don’t need to jump into all the relationship stuff like calling every day, meeting each other’s parents (or grandparents and great-grandparents in my situation) and you don’t need to be love bombing all the time.
A lot of the time, when you take it slow, it becomes more romantic. If you take things slow, then you are able to get to know the person more and are able to see how their mind really ticks. Just don’t lead them on with this tactic. Taking it slow can mean very different things to both people in the blossoming relationship. You may think that taking it slow means there will be a relationship in the future, while the other might think taking it slow means that there is room for judgment on if they want a relationship in the first place. It’s important to keep communication flowing between each other. Communication is key.
Another way you can lose out on a relationship is showing a tendency to have a temper. For example, if you text a girl and they don’t immediately respond, you should not yell at them about it. We are not always glued to our phones. If you are worried she is doing something that you don’t want her to, then you need to communicate that with her. Don’t immediately accuse her of something when she doesn’t answer a text or phone call.
In a world where we often fall hard for someone, it gets harder and harder to feel our hearts get continuously broken because guys keep making the same mistakes. These mistakes are easily preventable. Heartbreak and pain are inevitably going to happen, but some of the early stages of losing a girl are preventable.
As I’m sitting here and writing this, I can say that I have experienced these mistakes and have been hurt by them. However, I have also made these mistakes myself. I’ve texted nonstop, I’ve led someone on and I’ve been clingy. These are unavoidable mistakes we’re going to make because we are human.
Yet, we need to understand that these mistakes are meant to be moments of learning. We need to learn from them to prevent someone from walking away in pain and melancholy. Losing a girl is very similar to losing a guy. I mean, we’re essentially playing a game with each other’s hearts. We play a game that can either break a heart or make a heart beat brighter and faster.
It just depends on how you want to go about the game.
