The answer was on the tip of my tongue, but my hand stayed glued to my desk. What if I asked and everyone thought it was a dumb question? What if the teacher sighed, or worse, someone laughed? I choose to remain silent, even as the confusion settled in.
Fear of rejection doesn’t just happen in big moments–it shows up in everyday situations, like hesitating to ask for help in class or avoiding a request that might get turned down. Rejection therapy challenges that instinct, proving that a simple ask–no matter how small–can change everything.
Rejection therapy refers to the social self-help game, created by author Jason Comely, where participants aim to get rejected at least once a day. The goal isn’t necessarily to get a “yes,” but to desensitize yourself to the discomfort of hearing “no,” and learn that rejection isn’t as bad as it seems.
The fear of rejection often stems from a deep-rooted desire for social acceptance and belonging, which is the bedrock for human need. Additionally, past experiences can play a significant role. Early traumatic events, like loss or abandonment, can heighten sensitivity to rejection, causing individuals to avoid situations where they might feel unwanted.
Surprisingly, those who have tried rejection therapy and shared their experiences online have found that people say “yes” more often than expected. But the goal isn’t to get a yes; it’s to embrace the discomfort of asking. People practicing rejection therapy have taken on challenges like asking a stranger to borrow $100, requesting to take a nap on a mattress at a store or even asking a restaurant if they could cook their own meal in the kitchen. One TikTok creator approached a retail manager with an unexpected request: to pose as a live mannequin in the store’s display case for five minutes. Whether the answer is yes or no, each ask helps break the fear of rejection and makes future requests easier.
By repeatedly facing rejection, it can allow people to build confidence, become more resilient and even learn how to navigate situations more effectively. Rejection therapy helps reframe “no” as a neutral response rather than a personal failure, making it easier to take risks without fear of embarrassment. TikTok creator Michelle Panning, who participated in a 30-day rejection therapy challenge, reflected in one of her videos that, “Within a few days you’ll be a completely different person. Just trust the process.”
To try rejection therapy yourself, the key is to start small and gradually push your comfort zone. The goal isn’t to manipulate people into saying yes but to become more comfortable with the possibility of hearing no.
One way to start is by making low-risk requests, like asking for a discount at a store or requesting a free dessert at a restaurant. As confidence builds, you can try more unconventional asks, such as requesting a tour of a restricted area or asking to test-drive a luxury car without the intent to buy. The challenge isn’t about the outcome. Instead, it’s about proving to yourself that rejection isn’t as scary as it seems.
At its core, rejection therapy isn’t about getting what you ask for. It’s about shifting your mindset. Facing rejection head-on teaches resilience, builds confidence and proves that a simple “no” isn’t the end of the world. More often than not, people are willing to say yes to things you’d never expect. So the next time you hesitate to ask for something out of fear of rejection, consider taking the risk. The answer might surprise you.
