When I get stressed out to the point where it constantly feels like a dark cloud of negativity is on my shoulders, I tend to just metaphorically walk away. I walk away from everything and everyone because I want to be left alone.
I started to stop caring about my academics, which is incredibly unsmart of me since I’m currently doing three Advanced Placement classes. I also started to stress eat and stop caring about my appearance. I don’t wear makeup and don’t try to put together cute outfits. Leggings and a sweatshirt tend to be my only fashion statement.
What hurts about all of these things is the aftermath of it. I regret not doing my schoolwork, not trying to look presentable and eating my heart out. But even though I hate doing these things, I always make the same mistake. I always go back to those habits.
It’s incredibly self-destructive, and I am not the only teenager who does this.
According to an article by Healthline.com, “Self-destructive behavior is when you do something that’s sure to cause self-harm, whether it’s emotional or physical. There are also more subtle forms of self-sabotage [that] you may not realize you’re doing, at least on a conscious level.”
Self-destructive tendencies can range from compulsive activities and risky behavior to pushing people away and procrastination. Anything that can hurt you in the long run is self-destructive.
For example, I push away my friends and family when stressed. I start to get easily irritated by them and lash out in the form of passive aggressiveness or ignore them and talk as little as possible. But then, when I got to a point where I didn’t feel stressed anymore, I realized that all my friends and family were mad at me because of how I treated them.
If you do this, maybe I can provide some insight on how to avoid this sort of situation.
Lately, I have been noticing myself becoming overwhelmed and stressed to the point where my friends don’t want to hang out with me anymore. The only people who understand how I’m feeling are my few friends who have the same course load as me. But I’ve been trying to fix this.
If you start to feel this sense of drowning or suffocation due to stress of just pure unhappiness, talk to someone. It could be your mom or even your pet. But if you finally have a moment to open up, maybe that’s all you need to understand the problem.
Maybe if you talk about it, you can beat the self-destructive behavior.
If talking about it doesn’t seem desirable, which I understand, considering I struggle with it as well, then take a step back and recognize some of your actions as destructive. Think about some things you’ve been doing lately, and see if that is a normal behavior that you do or if it’s damaging. If you end up thinking of a harmful action, try to avoid doing it in the future.
Self-destructive behaviors are inevitable. We’re humans. Whenever we face something that causes internal mayhem, it is only normal to react in a manner where we display our feelings in the form of actions.
But if you can catch yourself doing these things or simply talk about it, you might see those behaviors decline. You might finally learn how to deal with these stresses more healthily.
Honestly, I struggle with these types of things every day. I’m struggling with it right now. But if I can find a way to handle this feeling, maybe I won’t need to feel that dark cloud of negativity.
Maybe that dark cloud can turn into a sunny day.
