While looking at a person we might judge their clothing style, skin complexion and/or color, hair cut or the things that they say.

It’s second nature to make assumptions about someone; whether it’s an assumption that a student isn’t smart because they are constantly disrespecting and fighting with a teacher, or seeing a girl with short hair and assuming she’s a lesbian.

The thing that everyone should consider when looking and judging someone –good or bad– is everyone has a story.

What we don’t know is their family is tight on money and can’t afford Coach purses or Accutane. We might not know that they are only mean because they are tired of people insulting them when they’re fully aware of their flaws.

You observe how they act or react, but you don’t know the pain that is boiling up inside dictating how they react. You don’t realize how high they’ve built their walls because you judge them by the way they appear without trying to discover what’s on the inside.

Rap star Eminem, or Marshall Bruce Mathers III, became popular when he deputed The Slim Shady LP album in 1999. His lyrics are violent, vulgar and often degrading towards women, but his story behind his music easily explains his actions.

The website Biography describes his childhood as “turbulent.” When his father left him and his 15 year old mom, they moved numerous times a year because his mom couldn’t keep a job. They would stay with family members or in public housing projects. The frequent moving prevented him from becoming close with friends, and he was often beat up at schools because he was seen as an outcast. He failed the ninth grade three times and dropped out of high school at 17 and from there turned to rapping to release his anger.

Do you ever think about how many people you look at, but never really see? Maybe we are too pre-occupied with our own affairs to see someone else’s pain.

According to the unusedwords website, sonder is the realization that each passerby is living their own life, fitted with their own personal worries, pains, pleasures, ambitions, routines, etc. Their life could be as similar to or the complete opposite of your life, so treat people like you want to be treated. This advice, no matter how old, continues to contain wisdom and meaning.

It’s a natural instinct to judge someone based on observations, but that doesn’t mean it has to be negative. Just because you don’t like someone’s style or hair cut doesn’t mean there’s no chance of you getting along with them. The observations you make shouldn’t count as a first impression. Always give people the benefit of the doubt. Remember, everyone has a story.

While looking at someone, you might notice how pretty they are, how shiny and thick their hair is or how skinny they are, but while you consider them to be perfect, they might be on the verge of ending their lives. From a distance, we never really know what’s going on underneath.

Marilyn Monroe, the American model, singer and actress of the 1950’s and 1960’s and a popular sex symbol ever since was and always has been considered to be “perfect,” but according to Biography, Marilyn Monroe not only had a difficult childhood of being passed from family member to orphanage, but was a depressed alcoholic and drug abuser until she overdosed at 36. She was a terrible actress and very insecure about it, but everyone wanted her to star in their movies anyway because of her sexy look and personality.

Ever heard of the poem “Richard Cory”? A famous poem written by American poet Edward Robert Arlington, Richard Cory was a tall, rich and glowing man. Everyone on the streets looked up to him and honored him; therefore, no one expected him to purposely end his life when he did.

This is a lesson everyone should learn; look beyond a person’s actions and beyond their clothes, and remember that every single person walking down the street or sitting at the table across the room has a story.