As a high schooler, walking through hallways can be scary. It’s that feeling of eyes being fixed on you and watching your every move. Dropping your loud metal water bottle or tripping over your shoes can make the stares feel like lasers through your back. The possibilities of embarrassment are endless, but they’re really only as embarrassing as we allow them to be.
It’s easy to feel embarrassed about anything because of our warped perception of ourselves and how we believe other people see us. Social media, the people we communicate with, stereotypes, stigmas and reputations relate to the way we handle judgement.
Embarrassment can feel unavoidable in high school because nothing is ever private. It may feel like every mistake will follow you forever, and unlike the real world, it’s a lot harder to escape.
“Since our district is just one high school, most people have been together since middle school at the least,” Student Services department chair and guidance counselor Erin Shore said. “That’s almost seven years where you’re constantly in each other’s business.”
At an age like this, not many people easily forgive or give second chances, which makes judgement harder to deal with. Close-minded students can label you for something you might have done years ago.
Labels can also create stereotypes and stigmas in high school. These stereotypes can cloud the way people view each other and themselves, making them feel judged for doing what they want. These labels can especially be associated with students in certain extracurriculars.
“I’ve definitely felt labeled and judged for being in theater,” senior Kailey Kunstman said. “There’s definitely a label for every department of performing arts, but you just have to learn to ignore it.”
Having characteristics that set you apart from others makes it easy for other people to pick on and unfairly judge.
“We’re a louder group of people because we do have to put ourselves out there to get different types of roles and opportunities,” Kunstman said. “Others who aren’t necessarily comfortable with louder or more outgoing people label us as different.”
Labels are often reinforced by the people around us. We, as teenagers, are especially vulnerable. When our friends feed into certain behaviors, they’re instilled in our minds and normalized.
You may not realize it, but the people around you can affect you. If your friends laugh at someone tripping in the hallway, you learn that tripping is embarrassing. If they make jokes targeted at a certain group of people, it suddenly feels acceptable to make assumptions about them and label them as weird.
Judgement doesn’t just happen in person. Our increased use of social media has made it nearly impossible to escape judgement and influence.
Social media surrounds us with pressures about what’s trending, what our friends are posting and how others are presenting themselves online. These pressures create apparent rules based on what’s normalized.
“With social media, you see things that make you think you need to act a certain way to be cool or fit in with the crowd, but I think that really limits people from being themselves,” senior Michael Glick said. “It feels so much more comfortable to just be yourself without worrying about what others are thinking of you.”
Social media doesn’t just shape our behavior; it also spreads embarrassment. Posts, comments or photos with the intent to poke fun at someone can embarrass them. When a post becomes public, it can affect the student’s reputation.
Though this can feel detrimental for a student, it’s important to know how to handle rumors.
“When a picture or post gets passed around, there’s always a fear of how far it will go,” Shore said. “In these cases, I review with them what is actually within their control and what they can do moving forward to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
Judgement can be manageable if you develop the right mindset. As long as you’re secure with yourself and what you prioritize, it becomes more natural.
“Embarrassment ties to students’ self-confidence, values and morals,” Shore said. “If they’re confident with who they are, what they want to achieve or how they will get there, they won’t let minutia stand in their way.”
As students continue through high school, their perspective changes and they tend to escape the grasp that judgement has held on them. Although this may not be the case for every student, it’s common for most mindsets to mature with age.
“In freshman and sophomore year, I was so concerned about what other people thought of me, but as time went on, I realized that I like myself and I don’t care what other people think of me,” Glick said. “I don’t get embarrassed by how I act. I like myself, and that’s all that matters.”
