Throughout human history, there has always been racism, and there will never be a time without it. We like to believe that it is not as large of a problem as it is even though 52.5% of the reported hate crimes in 2023 were acted on because of racial prejudice, according to the U.S. Department of Justice. Unfortunately, such racism can often spark competitions between fellow people of color (POC) about who has it worse, creating even more of a racial divide. That competition often causes mixed people to become overlooked in their own struggles.
While it’s true that being half white has lessened the brunt force of racism towards me, I have never been white enough for me to escape harsh remarks completely. Being half Filipino isn’t Filipino enough to completely immerse myself in that culture, but it also isn’t white enough to not get racist comments such as, “You’re Asian. Aren’t you supposed to be smart?” I’m constantly being torn between one side and the other, never being able to live in the middle. And I know I’m not alone in those feelings.
Politically and socially, America is not a country where it is safe to explore your identity. It’s important for mixed-race individuals to be able to explore all of the races that make them who they are. Children who grow up in a home that embraces their ethnicities and cultures can greatly decrease the amount of internal racism that can form. Senior Abby Gonnella, who is Cambodian, Chinese and German, said that her childhood seemed to be a good balance between her races, specifically during holidays.
“On my white side, we would celebrate certain holidays, like Christmas, with traditions that are more German, but then we would also have Asian food for dinner,” Gonnella said.
Even if a mixed-race individual’s home life is loving and secure, it doesn’t protect them from the experiences they could face in public. I’ve had my fair share of gross comments towards me and my mixed-race identity. People have tried to decide in front of me at school whether or not they want me to “go back where I came from” or if they should accept me because at least I’m partly white. I’ve been told to “take myself and COVID back to where I was born,” even though I was born in the U.S. I have even been asked if my family had eaten dog for Thanksgiving dinner. And no matter what I’ve experienced in the past, I’m still being told I don’t face racism.
Racism isn’t a competition. Instead of putting fellow POC down, we should be lifting each other up. Try to understand what they’re going through, or just be a supportive person for them if you personally can’t relate. Comparing the racism you receive to what others feel is only encouraging more racism to ensue.
“It definitely helps [to meet another mixed person] because they understand the struggle,” Gonnella said.
Even if we continue working to solve racism in America, there will still be internalized racism. Internalized racism eats away at you. Instead of other people tearing you down, it’s your own voice saying that you’re not good enough for your races. For me, it’s thinking that I’m not Asian enough to embrace my Filipino heritage from my mother. However irrational it is, it’s still damaging. Gonnella can relate.
“It’s like I know I fit in with who I’m with, but I’m never fully fitting in because I’m not fully one side or the other,” Gonnella said.
Being in a predominantly white school, I have been trying to fit in as white. Everything I did when I was younger was calculated to fit in with my friends at school. My elementary school days were spent observing the kids around me to make sure my Asian side was not noticeable. However, racism isn’t always said; it can be implied. Exclusion can occur with something as simple as an awkward silence when you’re sitting with a group of white people and they play the card “ethnic cleansing” in Cards Against Humanity. The racism can be more obvious than anyone else realizes.
“There are just so many stereotypes,” Gonnella said. “There are always [the comments saying], ‘Oh, you’re a bad driver,’ and, ‘You should be good at math.’”
Some people’s blindness to racism can make mixed-race individuals feel more overlooked. The issues that they face won’t just stop. They’ll be our children’s problems and our grandchildren’s for generations to come.
