Have you ever walked down a school hallway, passing by students, and then you trip over your own feet? You might think about how embarrassing or awkward that was and how everyone might be laughing at you. But that is more than likely not the case.
Many people go day to day trying to please others because they worry about what people think. But why do people care so much? What are others really thinking about you, and does it really matter? When you walk into a crowd, people are mostly worried about themselves and won’t pay you any mind. Most people are too wrapped up in their own heads about what they’re doing wrong to pay any attention to you. It is natural to care about what others think, but letting that control your life and stop you from being yourself isn’t okay.
“I bet people make assumptions about how I’m annoying or loud just based on the way I speak to my friends,” junior Hannah Boyer said. “I’m a very loud, outgoing person, but people aren’t judging me for that. They’re just making an observation about what they think I’m like even though they don’t know me personally.”
Most people do judge a book by its cover, if we are being honest. It is hard to not make assumptions about people when you don’t know them. You may imagine what someone is like outside of the setting you see them in. Or you may make guesses about how someone acts by the way they dress or present themselves. Even these guesses into someone’s personal life are not offensive or judgmental. So if people are thinking about you, they are probably just making assumptions as anyone does, and you should not take any of it to heart.
“I make assumptions about people. I feel like based on what people do, what they wear, the way they act or the way they speak with other people, I feel like I do make assumptions. It’s not that I judge, but I make assumptions about what those people are like,” Boyer said.
Even if someone is talking about you or judging you, you should not give them any satisfaction by being upset. You should ignore the mean words that people say about you because they are usually either jealous or dealing with their own problems. They may take out their anger or sadness on you and that may hurt, but it isn’t your fault and you should always keep your head up.
“I don’t really have the insecurity about people looking at me or talking behind my back, but even if they are, who cares? Because they’re just jealous,” junior Jack Polloway said. “And if they are, you can’t stop them from talking. They will just keep doing it.”
Polloway has the right idea. Sure, people could be mean to you, but is it better to suffer and let it get into your head when you can’t do anything about it? Let them talk about you, be strong and don’t let others’ views affect you. Others may try to embarrass you or make fun of you because they have previous grievances with you, but even then, they are just talking. Don’t let meaningless words get in the way of things.
When you’re anxious about others’ opinions, just try to remember that nothing matters that much in the long run. No one is going to remember the small things that happen to you in your day-to-day life. You won’t even remember the little things that have embarrassed you most of the time, so remember that people will forget and move on quicker than you realize. Do not hold on to the words others say, and don’t focus on others’ mistakes or your own because none of it will matter all that much in the future.
If someone is going to talk about you, then let them talk. It is hard not to let others’ opinions hurt, but once you realize it doesn’t matter and fully believe that, you will feel a weight of anxiety get lifted off your shoulders and then start to feel more comfortable in being your true self.
Even if you are close to someone, you can fear that they are judging you behind your back. But if they are talking bad about you, then they aren’t a good friend and that isn’t your fault.
“If people like me, that’s an added benefit. But if they don’t like me, then I go, ‘Not everyone is going to like me,’” math teacher Travis Berth said. “And those relationships I’m sure just won’t work out.”
Sometimes it may be hard to let relationships go, but staying true to yourself and your real friends is important. Don’t let those bad friends get in the way of how you live your life, and don’t let them give you the fear that other relationships in your life will similarly hurt you. But, if you are worried, don’t let the fear that something might happen get in the way of your future relationships.
So how many people actually talk about you behind your back? It definitely depends on the person and what you’ve done, but even then, people are way too caught up in their own lives to care about what you’re doing, a little trip in the hallway or your mistakes. Instead of focusing on others’ opinions, strengthen yourself. Be confident and ignore what others say about you. Whenever you make a mistake or are embarrassed about something, just remember that people aren’t always watching you.
