Friendships, romantic partners and connections with others play an important role in all of our lives. From small talk to heartfelt interactions, relationships with others often influence how we feel and act. While healthy relationships can provide support and make us feel seen, unhealthy ones can lead to stress and confusion, making it important to understand the difference and how we can improve our connections with others.
The interactions we have with each other and the connections we continue to create don’t become ones we value from just a simple hello; they come from more than we ever notice. Strong connections are built gradually and are shaped by shared experiences, trust and the way people treat each other over time. Some relationships grow naturally, while others are already present in our lives, such as those with family members or longtime friends. No matter how they begin, these connections play an important role in shaping who we are.
But how can we become a better presence in others’ lives? That question sits at the center of many relationships, from childhood friendships to romantic partnerships.
For many, navigating relationships can feel complicated, especially as emotions, expectations and outside pressures grow. Miscommunication, uncertainty about boundaries and fear of conflict can make it difficult to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Learning how to reflect on personal behavior is just as important as identifying unhealthy patterns in others. Becoming a better person often starts with self-awareness and understanding how our words, actions and reactions can affect others. While we may not be perfect, being mindful of how we should act towards others can help create stronger and more respectful connections.
One factor that’s often associated with healthy relationships is effort. Something as small as someone noticing you were interrupted in a conversation, but they ask you to continue your thought anyways, can mean so much more than people often realize.
Effort doesn’t always come from grand gestures or constant attention. It often appears in smaller, consistent actions.
“Something that people do that makes a difference in relationships is checking up on one another,” sophomore Emmanuel Serriteno said. “It shows how much people really care about you.”
While effort may not always be equal at every moment, healthy relationships rely on mutual care and understanding over time. Recognizing the role effort plays helps us better understand what we deserve and how we can provide for others in return.
But with effort comes communication. Communicating with people might not always be the easiest thing to do, but it can truly change the connection people have between each other.
“Communication is so important in relationships,” Serriteno said. “It’s the best way to know what’s going on in each other’s minds and know how the other is feeling.”
Since relationships involve two different people with two different emotions and perspectives, conflict is inevitable. It’s in those moments of contention that communication and respect are tested.
“Having arguments is okay; it’s perfectly normal,” junior Emma Hardekopf said. “But all that matters about it is how you react and how you treat each other in that situation.”
While disagreement itself isn’t harmful, the way conflict is handled reveals whether a relationship is healthy or not. Respectful discussions allow space for understanding, while behaviors such as yelling or manipulation can signal deeper issues. Learning the difference between healthy and unhealthy behavior is essential to maintaining strong connections.
Healthy relationships are not limited to friendships and dating. Students can form important connections with teachers and other adults at school. Spanish teacher Angela Francis is in her second year of teaching at Kaneland. She has found her own ways and beliefs on how to form connections with her students.
“In my experience, I think it’s super important for teachers to build student relationships right away,” Francis said. “That way, students know that when they come into your classroom they can feel safe and comfortable enough to be themselves.”
Strong relationships don’t always have to come in large numbers. Prioritizing meaningful connections over superficial ones can lead to healthier and more supportive ones.
“My biggest thing is quality over quantity,” Francis explained. “Finding that small group of friends who are loyal to you and respect you is much more important and healthy than friendships that either pressure you into things that you don’t want to be doing or don’t allow you to express yourself for who you are.”
Relationships can sometimes become one-sided when individuals believe the other person is solely responsible for maintaining the connection. However, accountability and effort from both people involved are required. Understanding this balance is a part of learning how to build stronger connections.
“I give people the same amount of effort that they give me, so I would choose people who choose me first,” Hardekopf said.
Healthy relationships don’t require perfection, but they do need effort, strong communication and trust to flourish. Recognizing unhealthy patterns, both in others and ourselves, is a necessary step towards growth. Whether it’s a friendship, partner or family connection, understanding how we communicate and respond to others defines the kind of relationships we have.
“Being in a relationship isn’t always going to be easy, but when you really care about the other person, you can work through anything,” Hardekopf said. “Find somebody who cares about you, for you.”
