As we grow older and transition from childhood to adulthood, dating becomes more normalized. Having a prom date and a crush has been romanticized from movies and TV shows since we were young. Someone’s relationship status may even dictate their choice about attending school dances, hanging out with couples or celebrating certain holidays. Although dating is very common for high schoolers, some may cringe at high school relationships or see them as a distraction. It is no secret that stigmas and stereotypes surround high school relationships, but the benefits of experiencing one outweigh external judgements.
The most common concern about high school relationships is authenticity. Many argue that because of a lack of maturity, high school relationships are not honest. Although there may be several benefits to having a partner, one should never seek to enter a relationship solely for convenience.
Students have many challenges throughout high school. Balancing activities, figuring out future plans and managing difficult classes do not make maintaining healthy relationships any easier. Adding a relationship to the mix for the plot does not create anything except additional stress. Healthy relationships need genuine intentions to be worth it.
English teacher Rachel Giles-Bachman had a successful high school relationship and is now married to her high school sweetheart.
“Don’t seek out relationships,” Giles-Bachman advised. “If they happen, they happen. Still be open to discovering things about yourself.”
During a crucial time for self-discovery, a partner must be supportive, patient and hopeful. When problems arise, one should feel secure enough that the relationship is not automatically over.
“Disagreements can be difficult to manage sometimes,” senior Annika Jones said. “It can be hard to become an adult with somebody also becoming an adult. You learn together, which is also an advantage.”
Jones has been in a relationship for 10 months. Throughout this time, she was also searching for colleges while balancing dance. She keeps an open mind when it comes to solving problems. An understanding mindset allows for partners to learn from each other’s mistakes as well as their own as they discover who they are becoming.
“If you are with somebody who’s very supportive of you, it is like having an extra level of support and comfort,” Giles-Bachman said. “While you are figuring out who you are, you have an extra person to help you.”
A partner should act as a helping hand that encourages you and who does not hold you back from following your dreams. A partner must be understanding of your plans while also having goals and responsibilities themselves.
Although busy schedules can cause problems, oftentimes a partner is relatable. Having someone to confide in while exploring romance can allow a person to feel safe.
“They’re going through a lot of the same things as you, so you can relate to them,” senior Delainey Baran said. “It’s a benefit.”
Prioritizing yourself is a key component to any healthy relationship. However, this does not mean that you should not make sacrifices for your partner. Making time to check in with your partner daily is crucial to demonstrate that you are thinking of them, no matter how busy you may be. Although negligence may not be one’s intent, it can create insecurity in a relationship.
Oftentimes, insecurities within a relationship are valid, but in the overthinking minds of teenagers, insecurities can also be based on self-esteem, rumors and delusions. Allowing yourself to stress about things that are not factual can harm relationships and become a form of self-sabotage.
“It’s sometimes hard to not compare yourself to [your partner],” Baran said. “For example, saying, ‘I’m not as smart as them.’”
Feeling unworthy of someone is a common issue many face. You must ask yourself whether this feeling is based on a legitimate issue or a negative self-perception. When expressing insecurities about your relationship to others, it’s important to remember the strengths within your relationship.
Oftentimes, others are quick to judge a relationship based on your complaints. Listening to their advice may be helpful, but being confident in the relationship you know best is important.
Confidence in a relationship allows a person to be themselves around their partner and have an additional best friend.
“They knew me at my weirdest, most awkward and uncool phase, and they still love me,” Giles-Bachman said.
Having a partner creates a friendship as well. Although you are very comfortable with your partner, you should not depend on them as your sole relationship. Having friends and allowing yourself to hang out with them will make you happier, as this removes pressure on partners to provide attention 24/7.
“Last year, I celebrated Valentine’s Day with my friends, and we had a cute little night and took pictures,” Jones said. “It was so fun because I was with people I love and that love me. It doesn’t just have to be your significant other.”
A relationship in high school can provide support as you discover who you are becoming. Trials and tribulations fortify your relationship and give you an understanding of what you value in a relationship. High school relationships can contribute to a sweet and memorable era you reflect on in the future, whether you reminisce together or admire alone.
