Social media was supposed to bring people closer, but it’s doing the opposite. From miscommunication to fake, allegedly perfect posts, it’s creating conflict, unrealistic expectations and friendships built on screens instead of real connections.
Behind every post, friend request and interaction on social media, there is a disconnect somewhere. People who are depending on social media to keep relationships healthy aren’t doing the best they could possibly do. It is non-negotiable that having in-person interactions and relationships are needed for simple living. If everything is always being dealt with online, the basic social skills everyone should have disappear. Relationships that are important, with people like family members and close friends, should be nourished in real life, and not just pushed to the side for a simple text or phone call.
“If it’s someone you care about, like a good friend, sibling or even partner, you should take the time to actually talk and be with them,” guidance counselor John Markovich said. “It’s so much healthier.”
Consider making plans with that person or simply try to see them in school. You could go out to lunch with them at least once a week and catch up with each other’s lives. Intentional efforts could mean a lot to someone you care about. A small in-person interaction or effort can keep the relationship alive and healthy. People who are showing low effort and being lazy are not considering the easy things you can do, and they are simply taking the easy way out. Of course a text or call may be more convenient, but it never hurts to be social with people in real life. The relationships that matter deserve to be in person.
Not only is using social media, texts or calls an easy way out of interaction, it’s an easy way into unnecessary problems. According to a 2020 Pew Research Center survey, 34% of 18-29 year olds feel anxious or uncertain about their relationships because of social media. The amount of conflict that can come from a single interaction on a random post is abnormal. What’s being posted, what they’re posting, how their lives look on social media and keeping up with everything going on are all major distractions in teen lives. There’s an attention-seeking mindset so many people have now. Not every bit of someone’s life needs to be shared online. It’s okay to be private. The amount of comparison, arguments and problems can be minimized if we stop oversharing online and start doing things face to face.
“Conflicts aren’t happening in person anymore,” Markovich said. “They start online, and then seep into everyday life.”
A simple, private conversation with someone can solve whatever the issue may be. Instead of posting online to share with the people around you, talk to them. Don’t make it a text that can be put in the back of their mind, or even screenshotted and shared. Instead do something real about it. A face to face conversation is all it takes.
The right thing to do is to truly value your relationships. Of course it’s okay to text or call someone when you’re not available to literally be with them, but the best relationships can only come from something real. Having long-distance friendships and family members is a completely acceptable reason for using social media to communicate, but when the people you care for are right in front of you, take advantage of that. The amount of things that can be taken the wrong way, miscommunicated or not worded accurately is the root of so many problems.
Some argue that social media helps people stay connected without hurting relationships at all. Platforms like Snapchat, Instagram and TikTok make it easier to stay connected with friends and family who live far away. The American Psychological Association reports that social media gives shy or anxious people a more comfortable way to communicate and build confidence in relationships. Social media is a way to make friends and share the things that you love and care about. From this perspective, social media isn’t destroying relationships; it’s bringing them closer together.
While it may be true that social media helps people stay connected, those benefits couldn’t possibly outweigh the damage it brings to real-life relationships. Even Markovich says that most conflicts he deals with start online, and they only get bigger and bigger from there. The simple post or screenshot can lead to problems that are very much solvable with face to face interactions. The so-called connection people are gaining from social media are just shallow highlights of the good things in life. Instead of strengthening relationships, it creates misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations and constant problematic issues. In the end, the easy way out is never really the best option.
